The Health Q
International Standard Serial Number (ISSN) 1715 6165 | Library & Archives Canada Entry
Contents
Editorial Note: Rebooting for the New Year; Healthy Resolutions For The Whole Year; Recipe for Indian Kaali Dal; Parenting Advice; Wishes for 2007
[Editorial Note] Rebooting For The New Year
by Parmjit Singh, PhD
Now that holidays, parties, visits from and to the families are over, we are face to face with another 365 days of pure possibilities. 2007 is upon us. Some of us, weighed down by food and pleasures, will go on to make knee-jerk promises of strict discipline and regimentation in the coming days and months. Some will stick through those promises while others will fall back into mundane routines after the initial excitement is over.
Whatever the motivation, the New Year provides a metaphor for rebooting, starting over. This is a perfect time to rethink and recast our acts so that we can make the best use of the year ahead. Though the possibilities are endless, some important areas where your life can potentially reboot to make substantial difference are:
- Relationships: Take a serious look at your relationships. If some of them are not working as they should be, try starting over once again: go back to the initial things you did to cultivate that relationship. Try to do the same things again and your relationship will rekindle.
- Career: If you seem stuck in your career and nothing seems to be working, go back to the days when things were working out pretty well and integrate those strategies into your present day work life. Mostly mental and attitudinal re-tuning works very well.
- Health: If health is a concern, go back to old habits when you were feeling good and healthy. Changing diet, sleeping patterns, exercise habits and quitting bad habits might do the trick.
- Family: Time has a bad habit of dulling things down, especially when you start taking things and people for granted. Bring the old freshness back into your life and family. Cultivate your family like a flower pot.
Happy rebooting and have a prosperous year ahead. [HQ]
Healthy Resolutions For The Whole Year
by American Council on Exercise
As the first few months of the new year slip away, do you find your resolutions slipping away as well?
- Resolutions should be reasonably attainable so that you are setting yourself up for success rather than disappointment.
- Try focusing on small intermediate goals that will ultimately lead you to your primary goal. Do not expect to be perfect. Aim for a healthy lifestyle that you will feel comfortable sticking with.
Take Small Steps
Simply establishing the goal of leading a healthy lifestyle should make you feel good about yourself. To make that goal more attainable, come up with small goals you know you can meet each day to help keep yourself feeling positive. Accomplishing the smaller goals will leave you with a more immediate feeling of success.
If your goals are too large, you may get caught up in them and feel disappointed when you do not see immediate results.
Small behavior-change plans are easier to stick to than vague resolutions like ”I will lose 10 pounds.” If your resolution is too large, add a plan of action that will guide you toward your goal.
Rather than ”I will exercise more,” try ”I will go for a walk at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays and work out in the gym Mondays and Fridays.”
This way you can feel a sense of accomplishment every day, and if you miss a day, you can get right back on track rather than feeling like a failure.
Change For Yourself
Any goals that you set should come from a sincere desire to change for yourself. Research has shown that negative feelings are a frequent cause of relapse in behavior-change programs, and resolutions that feel like punishment can cause negative feelings.
All resolutions should be perceived as positive changes that will help you reach optimal health and well-being. Don’t decide to change to please anyone other than yourself.
And remember, resolutions are an opportunity for you to look forward in a positive way rather than to punish yourself for past behaviors.
Be CreativePerhaps you can find ways to exercise while also accomplishing other goals. If weather permits, try walking to do errands that are in close proximity to your home or office. Maybe you need to spend more time with your family. Try walking with a family member or bringing your children along on bikes while you walk or jog.
If your goal is to make new friends, try taking classes where you will meet other people who share your same exercise interests.
Be Realistic
Be sure that your plan of action is realistic. Plan to work out at times when it is convenient for you. If you are not a morning person, do not plan to work out early in the morning or you’ll just be setting yourself up for failure.
Try to make things as easy as possible for yourself. Set your goals at reasonable heights so that you can reach them one by one without feeling overwhelmed.
The only way your goal is going to become reality is if you believe in it and, most of all, if you believe in yourself. It may help you reinforce your goal if you can find a realistic role model who is actually living your goal. If they can do it, so can you!
Anticipate Roadblocks And Reward Yourself For Successes
If things like weather and illness will prevent you from sticking to your plan, make alternate plans for situations that you cannot avoid. Most importantly, do not let a missed day or two throw you completely off target.
Instead, do your best to get back on track as quickly as possible, which should not be extremely difficult if you have set appropriate goals.
It is easier to stick to your plan when you feel good about yourself. Try to find a new way to reward yourself when you meet your smaller goals. If you are trying to eat healthier, be sure that all of your meals are still delicious, and allow yourself a small dessert after a few days of healthy habits.
Be sure to get involved in activities that keep you feeling happy and fulfilled.
Build A Support System
Get the support of your family, friends and co-workers. If your resolution involves quitting a serious addiction like smoking, drinking or an eating disorder, get professional help and join a support group if possible.
Remember that you are your best supporter. You are trying to improve your own health. Appreciate what you have and then try to treat it a little bit better than you have in the past. If you take better care of your body, you will feel better and perform better at all that you do.
Keep in mind that a well-thought-out resolution can be a useful tool to help you live your life the best way possible, starting from the inside.
Originally published in Fit Facts, from American Council on Exercise. Reproduced here with permission.
Indian Kaali Dal [recipe for black lentils]
by Manjit Handa, PhD
Ingredients: 1 cup black lentils, ¼ cup kidney beans, One medium sized onion, diced, 3-4 cloves garlic, crushed, One inch fresh ginger root, grated, One tomato, diced, 4-6 table spoons olive oil, 1 table spoon cumin seeds, 1 ½ tea spoon turmeric powder, Salt and black pepper to taste, 7 ½ cups water, Coriander/Cilantro leaves for garnishing, Pressure Cooker, for cooking
Method: In the pressure cooker, heat olive oil and add cumin seeds. When they sputter, add garlic and keep stirring until it turns golden brown. Then add onion and just when it turns golden brown add turmeric powder and stir for a couple of seconds. Now add diced tomato. When the tomatoes are tender, add water, lentils, kidney beans, ginger, salt and pepper. Cover with the whistle. With the first whistle, reduce the heat to a minimum and cook for 45 minutes. Open the cooker only when the steam has completely settled.
Garnish with coriander leaves. Serve hot with any kind of bread, rice or simply enjoy it as a soup.[HQ]
Parenting Style
Validating vs. Indulging Children’s Feelings
By Dr. Margaret Paul, PhD
I grew up at a time when children’s feelings were not important. I was supposed to go along with the program without complaint, regardless of how I felt. If I was upset about something, my mother generally responded with, “Don’t be ridiculous,” while my father just ignored me. Many of my counseling clients had similar experiences in their growing-up years.
Those of us on a personal growth path don’t want to do the same thing to our children. We want our children to feel safe in expressing their feelings. We want them to know that what they feel matters to us, that their feelings are important to us. The problem is that sometimes children use their feelings to manipulate their parents, and parents sometimes get confused between validating their children’s authentic feelings and indulging the feelings intended to manipulate.
All feelings are not created equal. As parents, we need to learn to discern the difference in intent regarding our children’s expression of feelings. Authentic feelings are generated by life experiences, such as the loss of a pet, difficulties with friends, problems with learning, and so on. These feelings need to be attended to with caring and compassion. Manipulative feelings are generated by thoughts such as, “I want attention,” “I want new clothes,” or “I have a right to have whatever I want.” The expression of these feelings need to be ignored, or the child needs to be told that we don’t like the complaining, so that we are not indulging our children in using their feelings to manipulate.
Joanne is struggling with her 6 year old daughter, Rachael, regarding this issue of feelings. “I don’t want to squash her feelings the way mine were squashed.” However, Rachael has learned to use her feelings to control Joanne. For example, Rachael often cries bitterly in the mornings while getting dressed for school because she can’t seem to find the right combination of clothes. Joanne then spends lots of time trying to help Rachael and mornings have become a nightmare. The same thing happens regarding food. If Joanne doesn’t have the food Rachael wants, or doesn’t like the meal Joanne has prepared, Rachael often complains and carries on. If Joanne and her husband Dan want to go out alone for dinner or with friends, Rachael is outraged at being left out. Joanne consistently validates Rachael’s feelings by saying things like, “I really understand how you feel,” or “I really understand that this is important to you.”
However, in continuing to attend to Rachael’s feelings and giving them a lot of her time, Joanne is indulging Rachael and teaching her to use her feelings as a form of control. In addition, Joanne is not helping Rachael learn to manage her feelings rather than dump them on others. Just because we feel something doesn’t mean we need to act on the feelings. As adults, just because we may feel like having a ice cream for breakfast, doesn’t mean we indulge ourselves in having it. Just because we feel like sleeping in when we need to go to work doesn’t mean we allow our feelings to determine our behavior. Just because we feel like punching someone in the nose doesn’t mean we do it. Hopefully, we’ve learned to acknowledge and release our feelings without letting them control us.
The same needs to be true with our children. We need to learn to comfort our children’s authentic feelings, such as the pain over the loss of a friendship, while not giving much attention to feelings expressed to control. When Joanne tales responsibility for fixing Rachael’s feelings, Rachael does not have to learn to take care of her own feelings. Joanne needs to walk away from or ignore Rachael’s tantrums and complaints when they are about things like her clothes or food. She needs to let Rachael know that, while she understands her feelings, Rachael also needs to learn to accept things as they are. Accepting how things are is part of learning to manage feelings.
If Joanne wants Rachael to grow up with good values, she needs to not give energy to issues such as the clothes. Indulging Rachael in thinking the right clothes are so important is not good for Rachael. Indulging Rachael in controlling whether or not she is included in adult activities is also not good for Rachael. Rachael needs to learn to accept things even if she doesn’t like them – we all need to learn this. By indulging Rachael’s manipulative behavior through giving all her feeling so much importance, Joanne is creating a child with entitlement issues.
Before we can help our children manage their feelings in healthy ways, we need to learn to manage our feelings in healthy ways. If you are indulgent with your feelings, your children will learn to do the same. If you are using your feelings to manipulate others, or allowing other to manipulate you with their feelings, your children will learn this from you. One of the best things you can do for your children is to become a role model regarding taking personal responsibility for your feelings. [HQ]
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
Wishes for 2007
by Parmjit Singh
May all the people in this world become as happier, healthier and prosperous
As I want to become.
May love and serenity abide in every heart
And people afflicted with anger, hatred, revenge and greed are cured of their affliction.
May all the people live in peace and accord
And there is no exploitation, oppression and violence.
May I use each moment of my life for good
For myself and others so that compassion and kindness prevails.
May I be blessed with the courage to follow the path
I am supposed to take and walk on it confidently.
May all the fear and doubts make me stronger and resilient
To charter my own destiny without the fear of judgment and retribution.
May I have the courage to be true to myself
And to the people around me
May I have the strength to become what I am supposed to become
Rather than what I have been told to become.
Fall silently and affirm these wishes in your silent heart.